


Try The Invisible Pie

by DoctorScarlet (CadetDru)



Series: Dirk Gently's Desert Nightmare [1]
Category: Dirk Gently - Douglas Adams, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Dirk's hat, Gen, Moonlite All-Nite Diner, Steve Carlsberg is Not a Jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:20:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23540713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/DoctorScarlet
Series: Dirk Gently's Desert Nightmare [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694413
Kudos: 15





	Try The Invisible Pie

Svlad Cjelli (a.k.a. Dirk Gently) had no business fitting in. Especially not in a tiny desert community somewhere in the United States of America. He had no business being there at all. His flight had somehow been rerouted. He didn't know 

As ever, he set out to do the bare minimum to get by. As never, even that had been proven to be too much. At the Moonlite All-Nite Diner, he ordered a cheeseburger, fries, and Coke from a tree. It seemed a sufficiently American order.

The entire diner yelled "interloper" at him. There didn't seem to be any real emotion behind it. A helpful man came and sat down with Dirk.

"Steve Carlsberg," he said.

"Dirk Gently." Svlad was someone else, and had been for a long time.

Steve liked his hat. He thought it was sensible, how the brim always remained completely parallel with the ground. Steve noticed the things about Dirk that were supposed to be strange, and then they approved of them. Steve thought it was “psychosassic" (which was a word that Dirk had thought he had invented.)

"Night Vale isn't like anywhere else," Steve said with a chuckle. "Oh, if you stay they'll keep on yelling 'interloper' at you, but if you stay longer, then they'll welcome you like one of their own."

Dirk tried to smile.

Dirk was brought his order, along with a seemingly empty plate for Steve with two forks. "You've gotta try the invisible pie,"

Dirk did not like invisible pie. He did like the cheeseburger. He was starving. He was possibly in hell.

Steve's own smile wavered. "Night Vale is a nice town, but it's complicated. More complicated than you are, Mr. Cjelli."

"I told you my name was Gently," Dirk said, as gently as his name. It was about time for a new name. As soon as he left this place, he would get one. 

"Sorry," Steve said amiably. "I guess I'm like you. I know things. I see things..." Steve paused, searched Dirk's blank face for a reaction. "I mean, not, like, 'seeing' things, seeing things. I just see what other people won't, what other people don't."

"And that makes you like me." It wasn't a question, it was an admission.

Steve nodded. Steve paid their bill, whispering "check please" at the table. "If you don't... if it doesn't... you don't have to stay here."

"Are you warning me away?"

"I'm just warning you." Steve cleared his throat. "Well!" he said brightly. "You've gotta meet my brother-in-law!"

"I'd hate to impose," Dirk said. He needed to be somewhere else, away from this strange man who knew what he shouldn't and said what he shouldn't. 

"No," Steve said. "It's no imposition at all."


End file.
